The Drink Cart: Deep Inside Plato's Cave
A weekly newsletter cocktail of advertising highlights, interesting things that will haunt your dreams, pop culture sticky notes and a drink from the cart after a long week.
It was Plato who said, “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” He was right. (Warning: This is not the only Plato reference you’ll get today. Editor: Wait, are you putting Plato references in this newsletter? Me: Yes, just watch me. I’m drunk on power. )
Let’s get things started with a social media trend that only Silicon Valley weirdos could love. Are you Airchatting yet? Actually there is nothing I want to do less than using a “social walkie-talkie.” Ok, maybe using Tiktok’s version of Instagram. Or maybe Target’s Pickleball collection. Actually maybe that.
Ad highlights
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I’m totally fascinated by this story from Meagan Loyst. Beverage company Poppi flew mega-influencer Alix Earle and 5 friends private to Coachella and watched she racked up 50M impressions in 3 days. Wowza.
On the one hand, I’m sure there is some Poppi VP watching these videos in a Powerpoint deck perplexed and asking what they got beyond impressions. On the other hand I’m sure they still spent less than you would on a Super Bowl spot. And on another hand, can Coke just buy it and calm this whole category down. What do you think?
“He just put it in bold.”
If you haven’t watched Ryan Gosling in Papyrus 2 from SNL, this is your sign to watch it and catch up by watching the original. So good.
The new Apple TV soccer ads where the ball is the logo are pretty freaking great. Simple is a good thing. And since we’re on simple and soccer, this Lays spot is annoyingly simple and really good too. Oh-Lays.
Ad lowlights
It’s slim pickings this week. This phrase only reminds how great the actor Slim Pickens was. Where was I? Oh right, things I hate. Another activation at Coachella was this Crocs x Pringles collab abomination. Ashlee Simpson and her husband were seen repping these ridiculous things via Talk of the Internet - another fun newsletter I’ve got on my radar.
I’m not saying a chip can holder on your shoes isn’t interesting, but what even is the flavour of “Pringles Croc-tail Party”? Turns out its watermelon chili lime flavour.
Plus: Tim Horton’s launchedpizza to “stretch the brand” beyond breakfast and launch. “Ew, David.” I’ll give it to this Toronto Star headline that made me laugh: “Tim Hortons selling pizza is like LensCrafters selling sex toys.” Noted.
Things I can’t stop thinking about
There’s no reason these gas station meets convenience store 60th anniversary cups had to go this hard. But these are what coffee cups should look like. And that just makes me think about the whole idea of gas stations and convenience stores that are superior to what we have in Canada. Now I’m depressed.
I’m also thinking about Gin. Wired (and The Hustle) shared some info about new fingerprinting tech using nuclear magnetic resonance (NMR) spectrometers that could help regulate the gin industry. Fact: The premium gin industry is soon to be worth $1.4 billy by 2030. A smug hot take: I’m never going to buy non-NMR gin ever again! I only want nuclear verified Oppenheimer Gin.
Is this article the one that triggers me into getting a Wall Street Journal subscription? Just look at that smug dog. I would watch a Summer House spin off that was centered around jerk dogs who torment their ultra-rich owners. As one funny X post suggested stories like this mean, “we need another 500 bps of rate hikes.”
This is the meanest Tiramisu in the world. 10/10, would still eat.
Is the perfect way to watch content is to watch TV? This in response to news that Disney+ is adding “channels”.
I also don’t hate this idea of the boring phone from Heineken and streetwear brand Bodega that features no social media.
Watch what is on track to become the most liked video on Tiktok. It started the week off at 642.7 million views, 44.8 million likes, 1.5 million comments and 4 million saves. As of Thursday those numbers are up to 46.9M, 1.7M and 42.M. Absolutely Bonkers.
The record for most Red Lobster Endless Shrimp eaten is 600. Of course the brand has lost $11 million in this quarter and might file for bankruptcy.
I’m not saying I want to be John Deere’s Chief Tractor Officer, but I’m also not saying I don’t want to be John Deere’s Chief Tractor Officer. It pays $200,000.
Totally self indulgent baseball and gambling content
+229? Okay, should we be betting on the amount of hot dogs during the Blue Jays Loonie Dog Nights this season? And it’s crazy that on Tuesday 31,175 fans ate 59,831 hotdogs - a 1.92 per fan clip. And why not. As one Xer noted, “man Ippei would’ve loved it here.” Meanwhile, if you think betting is everywhere, Business Insider hit the world with a big piece titled, “The big new way to get rich.”
Speaking of betting the NBA banned a Toronto Raptors player for betting on games. Ouch.
New life goal, unlocked: ripping baseball cards in first row during game.
This hack is pretty clutch. Take a Mickey Mantle game worn jersey and turn $486K it into $2.9M in five years.
I love that sports teams are hiring Managers of Cinematography now.
Facts: There should be more Plato references in everything - especially baseball.
New Feature: Hat of the Week
The Akron RubberDucks (Double-A Affiliate of the Cleveland Guardians) will play a game as the Akron White French (Warning: Do not click this link unless you want to see a cute salad dressing logo, wearing a beret with a baguette behind it. You’ve been warned.) Honorable mention goes to this 1979 This Week in Baseball (TWIB) hat. Are you old enough to remember the banger of the opening and theme?
Apparently, “White French salad dressing is uniquely an Akron thing!” And this isn’t the first food special hat The RubberDucks have done. They have also been The Akron JoJos (Fried Potato Wedges), the Akron Sauerkraut Balls and the Barberton Fried Chicken & Hot Rice.
PSA: I would also like you all to know that despite a long work week already, I have resisted the urge to buy a single baseball card or hat (even though all four of these are available in my size and awesome). See, I’m putting in the work for you.
Last call: The Drink Cart Recipe
I think this image sums up the week nicely. Especially if you are still thinking about the budget. And you should probably have a pain au chocolate at all costs. Today’s cart special is inspired by the author of The Republic himself.
According Monty Python’s Bruce song, “Plato, they say, could stick it away. Half a crate of whiskey every day.” Felt like we had to do a whiskey forward drink like a modified Black Manhattan with that little extra vino-type content. See you next week.
2 oz Bourbon
1/2 oz Amaro
1/2 oz Red Vermouth
4 dashes Angostura bitters
Ice. Glass. Stir. Drink. Repeat as needed.
I like the new Hat of the Week feature. I stopped by for the cocktails and ads, but stayed for the ball cap!
Great read Jackson! My favourite part of the Poppi collab with Alix Earle was the Poppi branded chicken noodle soup she drank (cold, out of the can) mid-hangover.