The Drink Cart: Marketing Conclaves

This week’s newsletter is brought to you by that feeling of locking the doors, burning all the notes and electing your worst idea as pope.

Dear marketing fans, advertising lovers and Pope AI fashionistas who prefer their newsletters talk about ads like it was important work.

Pope Francis passed away this week. He worked to the very last moment like a creative team on weekend pitch deadline. He was the people’s pontiff. A reformer. And funnily enough one of the first viral AI superstars. The “Pope in a Balenciaga-puffy-coat” that broke the internet and probably fried many a Google server farm in the process.

That was just two years ago.

This news on the same week where OpenAI CEO Sam Altman somewhat openly questioned us for being too nice to our AI which is costing “tens of millions of dollars.”

The white smoke means a new pope. Marketing doesn’t need another pope. Or any Pope. But it probably does need a conclave. Especially if every second social media post is going to be talking about vibe coding and vibe marketing for the rest of the year.

Who is in for a smoke-filled, closed-door, robes-on discussion about where we are going to go next in this business. Are we blindly following the Algorithms until we vibe ourselves into our AI overlords? Or just outsource everything to some random dude on TikTok who just repackages old Ogilvy quotes and vibes into millions in agency revenue?

Welcome to the marketing conclave. Who’s in?

Four wild things that sent some white smoke over the Vatican City in my brain.

• Let me get this straight, despite Saving Silverman being a perfect Neil Diamond tribute band movie there is a new Neil Diamond tribute band movie called Song Sung Blue with Kate Hudson and Hugh Jackman? Hollywood you need to stop.

• “Raiders of the Lost Ark was made in 1981 and took place in 1936. If they did a remake next year with the same time gap it would take place in 1981. Yea, you're THAT old.”. (Via Dave Blass)

• That the cinematographer of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Tak Fujimoto, also shot The Silence of the Lambs. Movies are wild.

• Science is out here discovering new colours that no human has ever seen before. Pantone is gonna be hella mad about this and Adobe will probably charge you extra for the privilege of not being able to see it.

Baseball Rodeo

I know I started focusing more on advertising than my side-passion of baseball in this newsletter, but here is a great place where we can talk about baseball ads.

This is the new collection by Combat MFG called Rodeo. If ever there was a sport crossover moment, baseball rodeo is it. It just looks so damn cool. And so do the limited edition bats.

Brian Cox doing Malibu ads is amazing

This is such a wild pairing that there is no way even AI could come up with it. You put foul mouthed Logan Roy in roller skates, drinking pina coladas with his feet up and taglines like Clock off and you have yourself a very fun summer campaign.

True story, I don’t think I’ve even touched the Malibu stuff since a friend at the Keg drank way too much and lost their Malibu lunch as they say. I don’t think you can un-smell that. But for Cox, I’m willing to try.

When collabs go right

Sometimes there are non stunt ad collabs that actually work. When you get Kahlúa & Tony’s Chocolonely teaming up for a Chocolate Martini Glass you have one of those times. Anytime you can build upon a classic and dream up an “Espresso MarTony” in a chocolate glass you are cooking with gas.

I love the way in with the strategy that was “Inspired by research revealing that 1 in 4 Brits feel they don’t treat themselves enough, the Espresso MarTony is here to change that.” Smart.

Ad History: Certs (1972, 1979 & 1988)

Remember Certs? If you missed this bit of ad history on my Linkedin, I’m pulling it in here and supersizing it with a few more ads. This is the story of mints that were practically everywhere 40 years ago and were gone by 2018. “It’s a breath mint!” “No, It’s a candy mint!”

Thank god it was just two amazing mints in one and they drove that tagline for decades.

Just imagine a time when there were two categories of mints: breath mints and candy mints. You can see why Gen Z is nostalgic for everything. They never knew the breath freshening power of 2 mints in one. What a shame.

They did however miss out on a product made of copper gluconate, partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil and mysterious "flavouring". No mint here, kids. Just the magical power of "Retsyn®". From what I can understand Retsyn was basically metallic flavoured goo in the form of mint looking flakes in each candy.

Eventually these magical cottonseed based mouth deodorant flecks were deemed not FDA approved and Certs ceased to exist after 2018. Don't worry you can get your 5-pack fix of Retsyn from 1994 on eBay for the low price of $89 USD.

But here's my favourite part. The name “Certs” is not short for “certainty.” Oh no, it came from just being "certified" by Good Housekeeping. The mint named itself after a magazine seal of approval. Such a peak 1956 branding move.

Scratch and Sniff Armpit OOH Warning

I know it's getting to be advertising award season, but I beg of you, not to normalize sniffing random photos of hairy armpits on OOH. I don’t care if they smell like coconut and sweet vanilla. I’m not sniffing your ad armpits.

Last call: The Drink Cart Cold Brew Negroni

I happened to be back in Montreal for a friend's 40th Birthday last week. Got another chance to visit my favourite restaurant Nora Gray (which I’ve documented here) and had a sip of a pretty incredible and tasty espresso laden-negroni cocktail.

It was also interesting to be in Montreal during the election. They have such different political signs that you seen in most of English Canada. They lean heavily into the photos in way that few outside of Quebec do. Politicians should just be random names on coloured signs. You do not want to see these idiots.

I guess we’ll see how it plays next week and what we’ll need to be serving for election night snacks and cocktails? Yes, I might be that kind of guy. I mean maybe not as election nerdy as this: “Being friends with election nerds is terrible, what do you mean you’re organising a papal conclave election party.” But close.

Anyway, i wanted to share a version of that which may very well be a great pick me up after a week of advertising nonsense and maybe decent for election night. Think of it like your liquid timesheet refresher with coffee and bitter notes.

Here’s the recipe:

• 1 oz gin

• 1 oz sweet vermouth

• 1 oz cold brew–infused Campari (see infusion instructions below)

• 2–3 dashes chocolate bitters (optional, but adds depth)

• Orange peel, for garnish​

Infusing Your Own Campari:

• Combine 1 cup of Campari with ½ cup of coarsely ground coffee beans in a sealed container.

• Let it steep at room temperature for a couple of hours.

• Strain the mixture through a coffee filter to remove the grounds and pop that into the freezer for a hot minute to chill it up.

• Don’t have the means to do this? Get that. Do it Lazy Cold Brew Negroni style. Just do an oz of Campari and 1/2 oz of store bought cold brew. See, easy.

Here’s another completely fabricated “deep thought” for you to ponder with your Drink Cart Cold Brew Negroni to the soothing soundtrack of Dean Martin’s Volare.

Consider this: Algorithms optimize for what already works. Cultural shifts begin with what hasn't been tried before. Try vibe coding that.

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Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics

• What do we think about Kardashian protein snacks? And despite the Kardashian wealth, they feel so strongly about protein powered popcorn that they raised $12M in funding before launch from investors?

• Here we go again. MomTok is back. Finally.

• “Fine I’ll watch Conclave. This marketing campaign is getting ridiculous.”

• See if you can soak up the culture of this Wrestle Rock promo.

• The Minute Maid juice box product placement in Wrestlemania is a vibe. Discuss.

• Maybe I just want to buy a truck and sell cheese out of it. Is that a thing?

• I love this phrasing by Elizabeth Goodspeed about, “Ad agencies reheating each other’s nachos.” (aka “macro-oriented ‘made-you-look’ OOH.”

• And remember, there is an actual point to having ad agencies.

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The Drink Cart is your weekly fuel for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A cocktail of ad insights and hot takes that feel like you’re hanging at your favourite dive bar after launching your latest campaign.