The Drink Cart: Mouth Heaven
We're doing one last newsletter in 2024 with the scraps of ad leftovers and all the benefits of a whole week governed by the lawlessness of Airport Rules.
Dear Drink Carters
We wanted to get this Newsletter out of the way so we don’t have to be making it on January 1st. When you get to the Drink Cart offering, you’ll understand why. It’s also that this weird time - especially for agencies who are mostly shuttered between Christmas and New Years - you don’t know what’s up or down and as most memes suggest, we are so full of cheese and governed by the lawlessness of “Airport Rules Week” we are all hallucinating. I love this concept of Airport Rules where pretty much everything goes.
That might explain how I’ve had two kind of incredible dreams this week. First, and I’m not even sure what this means, was that I was having a pretty intense discourse about how I thought that Tina Fey had directed Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. Of course I know that it was Leonard Nimoy himself. But that would have been a great idea. Was it that Fey looks remarkably like she could have played Saavik? It was awesome.
The second was that I was developing some sort of miniature lazy river dispenser for Bailey’s or Whiskey for the holidays. Think like those little Christmas Villages, but you pour the booze into the pub’s chimney and it slowly goes down the river and then magically, festively into your glass. It’s so stupid, but I’m sure you could sell like thousands of them. This might have been me thinking about this week’s hat of the week too much. I say all of this during a week that also included whatever this is:
So grab yourself a drink from the cart, take advantage of a few more days of pure lawlessness before we get back at it as we spin tales of:
The Pop Tart Bowl and it’s one flaw
Ad histories from Taco Bell and forrest fire prevention, poutine wars and iconic OOH tributes
The perils of AI, A great brand hat, a classic NYE cocktail, and when to start a classic ad for when the clock strikes twelve.
1. The 2nd Pop Tart Bowl
Oh right, this week marked the 2nd annual Pop Tart Bowl. This is turning into a real marketers playground of an event. I know this was a few days ago, but let’s remind you have these iconic branding moments. And when you toss around “Branding Moments” in your 57 page PowerPoint later this year, remember what real branding moments are.
The tribute presentation to the Strawberry Pop tart that included Handel’s Messiah.
“The corpse of Frosted Strawberry watches the Pop-Tarts Bowl trophy ceremony/the sacrifice of Frosted Cinnamon Roll from an empty upper deck”
The other Pop Tarts saluting their fallen friend.
The Comparison to the 1491 painting of The Resurection by Benvenuto di Giovanni
Did I mention that the trophy is a fully functioning toaster?
The fact that they tweeted this, “Mouth Heaven gained another angel!”
They even took inspiration from an old NBA Pop Tart ad for the program.
2. The worst brand reaction to the Pop Tart Bowl
This is your final reminder of 2024. Your brand does not have to do this. This was the one flaw in the Pop Tart Bowl II.
3. Ad History: A Simpler Time
In 1984, Taco Bell introduced the Nachos BellGrande. Before “Live Mas”. Before “Think Outside the bun”. Before “Make a Run For the Border.” There was simply, “Just Made For You.” And the simpler idea was going for beef and a tomato in one nacho. What a time to be alive.
4. The Poutine Wars
It is documented science that food out of tiny helmets taste better. Today’s Winter Classic being played in Wrigley Field. Not only are people playing NHL 94 on the scoreboard, it does look pretty cool. The stadium is offering up $19.99 “Chicago-Style Poutine” in a mini hockey helmet - fries, Italian beef (Yes, Chef), gravy, cheese curds, giardiniera and sweet peppers.
Trump calling out Canada as the potential 51st state is one thing, but this takeover of our national dish? I will get right on these matters of international relations after I finish my 24oz Beer-Filled hockey stick for $34.89. Sorry, what? Where am I?
5. This is how you do a tribute OOH billboard
This tribute to the greatest base stealer of all Ricky Henderson who passed away before Christmas is so great. No notes.
6. Ad History: Forrest Fire Prevention OOH
When your OOH billboard has absolutely no brakes. The Prevent Forest Fire sign in Manning Park, BC in the 1950s.
7. A Marketer’s New Year’s Pro tip
If you really want to celebrate like a marketer here’s your hidden gem tip for the evening. “If you start the original OxiClean commercial at 11:58:50pm on New Year’s Eve, the double thumbs up will hit at exactly midnight. Start your year off right!”
8. The End of the Masterclass Brand
Jordi Hays really captured a brand in decline in the wild, showing that Mastercalss is now offering a Sports Betting course. Adam Singer neatly pointed out that this exposed the “Degenerate economy timeline.” At the same time, there is this related CBC article that exposed that the entire piano economy is also broken as you can’t even give them away for free. We are spending more time betting than we are piano-ing.
The slow, steady march to Idiocracy is never ending until, “The #1 movie in America was called ‘Ass.’ And that's all it was for 90 minutes. It won eight Oscars that year, including best screenplay.”
9. Is AI taking over IRL?
Someone connected a few dots about this store in Toronto with the post, “90% of businesses that have opened in Toronto in the past five years look like they were fully generated by AI” And they aren’t wrong. So you get snacks at 24 7Even, slide over to AI Vape (yep, a real place in Roncy), then up to Fancy Induced Burger then maybe stop by their sister concept, “Go Grill X The Fancy Dips.” This is terrifying.
10. Hat of the week: Irish Spring Corduroy
If you’re going to make swag, you have to go all the way. Here’s an Irish Spring corduroy hat that is simply great swag.
To circle back on the Pop Tart Bowl, this is a 2nd flaw, the merch isn’t that great or abundant. Sure you can get the Dreams Really Do Come True shirt but what a missed opp.
The Winter Classic? Yeah, the logo of the event is really nice with the brick and ivy from Wrigley, but am I wearing around the jersey? The shirt is an abomination. I don’t think so. A crystal puck? I want to meet the person who buys the Throw Pillows. Or the stupid fan packs - Brands, nobody wants a lanyard. And who was like, we should totally have Winter Classic Slides. You’re gross Fanatics. Okay, fine, the pennant is cool. This shirt showing the logo is acceptable too. Do better.
Last call: The Drink Cart The Seelbach
This one entered into my inbox earlier from Richard Godwin’s newsletter The Spirits. It’s the Seelbach. Think of it liked a extreme Champagne cocktail. That’s right, add your bitters (and what I like is the 7 dashes - that’s not even my heavy bitter hand), then crank it with bourbon and a little cointreau and you’ve got the perfect New Year’s Eve Drink Cart offering.
Like all dubious origin stories of many cocktails, this one seems to have a completely made up back story. That story, was that it was invented at Louisville Kentucky’s historic Seelbach Hotel and was “rediscovered” in the 1990s. A bartender named Adam Seger claims he found the recipe in an old menu from the hotel before prohibition.
Another version, even more unlikely, is that a honeymooning couple visited the hotel in 1912 and ordered a Manhattan and Champagne cocktail. As Southern Living tells it, “then, in a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup-style accident (‘You got peanut butter in my chocolate!’ ‘You got chocolate in my peanut butter!’) they somehow spilled the drinks into each others' glasses. The result was a libation greater than the sum of its parts, and was such a hit that the hotel named it The Seelbach Cocktail.” Sure, Jan.
Like most bartenders (trust me, I should know) they are just a few steps away from con men. But they do make decent writers. Seger confessed to the New York Times in 2016 that it was all made up.
Now this is a drink cart I can get behind
I came across this video of a real drink cart at an Australian palliative care ward served by an incredible bartender, Colin Apelt a spry 92 years young. I love that one of the comments on the Instagram posting that Colin was a “booze angel on earth.” I love that phrase.
So here’s your cheeky random last day of the year Champagne cocktail with a bourbon kick:
1 oz bourbon
1/2 oz Cointreau - honestly if you had some Grand Marnier, that might be appropriate for NYE.
4 dashes Angostura bitters
3 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
Fill up with Champagne (Smug reminder: Prosecco is not Champagne)
Add an orange twist garnish.
5 Bonus Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics, quick clips, ads or random links to chat about:
I stumbled upon this great quote, “Fake bacon is for people who think meat is murder but still enjoy the taste of murder.” Discuss.
If AI does take over everything including all Ad agencies, maybe open up a tiny ramen shack?
Roman Empire? No, I’m still thinking about the UI design of the Nakatomi Plaza directory.
This is the only thing to get in response to the go into debt for a fancy watch meme. The Major League Baseball Card Watch.
Bonus: As a brand what you do if you got invited to some influencers wedding/free stuff gambit?
Apparently this over 10 minute skit is required viewing every New Year’s Even in Germany. It’s kind of a wild story. Happy New Year. See you in 2025.
Drop me a comment below, ask me a question or give me a reco. Or just tell me how your drink turned out.
The Drink Cart is a weekly newsletter of advertising, pop culture, baseball and cocktails from Jackson Murphy.