The Drink Cart: The coconut milk is off
This week's newsletter is brought to you by at least 30ml of glorious Dayquil, leading to almost nice celebrity brand reviews and rare finds from the depths of advertising.
Dear marketing fans, pina colada aficionados and anyone who prefers their advertising newsletters with at least two shots of dark rum.
I’m not sure how this newsletter is going to go to be honest. Here’s the story, I’ll let you decide if you notice anything amiss.
Last week I went to see a Bravo Reality star (Kyle Cooke of Summer House) do a cosplay DJ set at night club on school night. I could go on and on about this, but became more a cultural anthropology experiment at a time when the world’s markets were melting down, tariffs weren’t paused and the Mission Impossible trailer wasn’t even released yet.
If there was a place in Toronto that night more packed, full of people who didn’t seem to be bothered at all by any of the issues of the day, I’d be surprised. There was no US-Canada tension. No notion that the economy was the slightest bit shaky. No one was talking about Trump or our election. It was just a Thursday. A sweaty, full, bustling Thursday with people crowding around a reality TV “DJ”.
But that’s not the story.
I’m positive that in that packed stupid nightclub, the oldest guy in the room (yours truly) 100% got the flu or covid or whatever we call it now. From Saturday to the writing of this on Wednesday evening, I’ve been fighting this off. Not fun. I’ve struggled through three days of work heavily medicated by ill advised quantities of Dayquil and Nyquil. I medicate like I make my cocktails. Keg Sized.
A couple of my business partners shook their heads at me after a presentation this week and reminded me that I also was Slacking clients from post-surgery a few years back. I’m not debating this.
It checks out. As they say, the show must go on. The Drink Cart must get done. And in the words of Jordan Balfour in Wolf of Wall Street, you’ll always need a wrecking ball to get me off the job.
Three wild things that turned my mind to celebrity mustard this week
That there is protein mustard now. As someone said, “Post work mustard shots for max gainzzz?”
That Rogers paid a baseball player $500 million for 14 years. In this economy? Your cable or phone bill is totally going up.
That they are really casting for a Jersey Shore spin off in Canada right now.
Celebrity Brand Showdown: Ryan Reynolds wine vs. Glen Powell condiments
Spoiler alert, Powell knockout.
I don’t want to be a prude about wine. But whatever we even doing here? The website screams that it’s “33% more wine. 100% less snob.”
The only other value props after that are that (and this is shocking) a 1L package yields more than a 750ML bottle and that a Tetra Pak floats.
For some reason Ryan Reynolds thinks you want your Chardonnay warm floating in a pool. No thank you sir. What I don’t get with this play is that boxed wine is already ugly. What’s the angle here?
It all just feels so Ryan Reynolds. The ick is real.
Okay elephant in the room, they have the same tagline as Pierre Poilievre to “Bring it Home”.
But if we can look past this, now this what a tightly-built celebrity backed brand is. The video is charming. It’s a condiment brand while every other celebrity is doing alcohol or non-alcohol. Our guy Glenny P is just stocking your pantry with sauces? Genius.
Any brand dropping a hot dog graphic like this has my vote instantly. You know what’s really shocking? I’ve reviewed and critiqued a lot of celebrity brands. This is the first one that isn’t trying to be too clever. I honestly couldn’t find a line on the website that was cringe enough to even make fun of. That’s a great test.
The site isn’t too flashy but is really well done. Am I getting soft? Is this the covid talking? The Dayquils? No. I’m sucker for something just flawlessly executed. Even the newsletter sign up and delivery right away was pitch perfect. There is a reason Powell is Tom Cruise’s protege.
Final Judgement: Dude just wanted some good sauces. There’s no way Ryan Reynolds is ever drinking a boxed wine.
Peak Sneaker?
I started following a few sneaker accounts in the fall. The sheer amount of sneaker releases are incredible. Every day there is a flood of new shoes announced.
Cut to seeing this drop coming up from NBA star Devin Booker x Chevy x Nike Blazer. I don’t know why, but seeing the Nike and Chevy logo exist on one shoe is pretty cool.
If you didn’t get a collab with an NBA star and a classic truck, are you really even a shoe brand in 2025?
Meanwhile Lacoste is shooting campaigns with NYC cabbies
I saw this incredible shoot in my feed today and thought the whole thing was wonderful. The colours are just perfect. You have the iconic Lacoste green beautifully in the streets of New York in a New York City cab featuring a real cabbie.
Ad History: National Cash Register (1964)
You want to do something cool for experiential. Try this. For the 1964 World’s Far, National Cash Register of Dayton, Ohio just said, maybe we just make a giant cash register. Yes.
And you know what? The company is still trucking today. They transitioned into platforms and digital and eCommerce and just kept going powering 26 million transactions an hour.
Judging by their corporate website, I am sure they stopped doing really cool stuff like this.
Ad history: McDonald’s McStuffins (1993)
There was a time in 1993 when McDonalds try to do something called McStuffings.
Yes, imagine them baking fresh French bread and then stuffing it with Chicken Teriyaki, Philly Cheesesteak, Pepperoni Pizza or BBQ Chicken.
It was a colossal failure. The novel concept would be gone by 1996 or by some accounts the same year if this recreation video is to be believed.
This campaign went in two waves. First they hyped up the mystery of the name and then in part two they asked who told the secret.
WIld marketing of the 90s at its best.
Last call: The Drink Cart Poolside Pina Colada
No bad coconut milk here. No dirty morning blenders for protein shakes. And absolutely no Pong-Pong Fruit in this week’s take on the cart. Of course with any good cocktail, ownership of invention is complicated. It’s pretty obvious that rum, pineapple and coconut were made for each.
Turns out, three bartenders and a pirate contest the creation of this classic. I like the idea that Puerto Rican pirate Roberto Cofresí boosted the morale of his ship by giving them a potent cocktail of coconut, pineapple and white rum. I also like that upon his death the recipe was lost.
But because we have a soft spot for hotels, we're taking that as our story. When Hilton has it on the website, you gotta take it seriously. The Caribe Hilton Hotel claims bartender Ramón "Monchito" Marrero invented the pina colada in 1954.
Do you think HBO gave the team at Coffee Mate a heads up when they partnered with The White Lotus to release a Piña Colada Liquid Non-Dairy Creamer that there would be some bad pina colada connections? If you were a marketer would you care?
Here’s my take on the recipe:
2 oz dark rum
1 1/2 oz cream of coconut
1 1/2 oz pineapple juice
1/2 oz lime juice, freshly squeezed obvs.
Remember no Pong-Pong Fruit!
Blend it with ice
Garnish it pineapple wedge and serve anywhere, but best is poolside.
Here’s a little completely fabricated “deep thought” to ponder with your Drink Cart Poolside Pina Colada with a side of Rupert Holmes’ Pina Colada Song from 1980.
(Let’s be very clear. AI could not come up with this song or video or that bass player. Chefs kiss.)
When was the last time you felt emotionally moved by something created without human intention?
Drink Cart Approved™ agency discussion topics
There’s a new social site for music super fans. Discuss.
I love this drama between punctuation. The Oxford comma is so smug.
There was a time in 1987 when you could get a Hi-C drink box from Ghostbusters called Ecto Cooler.
They brought back the dire wolf after 10,000 years. Thoughts?
The Drink Cart is your weekly fuel for pop culture brains and ad junkies. A cocktail of ad insights and hot takes that feel like you’re hanging at your favourite dive bar after launching your latest campaign.
Agreed. That Lacoste photography is amazing! And that RAV4 ad placement is pretty funny.